I’m known by the girls to be very blunt when it comes to advice on guys; Maybe too blunt sometimes. But when it comes to guys – I have a complete no tolerance policy. Girls, we need to learn the truth… No good will come from the little lies we tell ourselves or each other about the way guys are. Whether it’s the old line “maybe he left his phone in his car” or “maybe I’m the girl that can change him if I just give him one last chance” Wake up hunnie! He’s just not interested.
My past experience, when it comes to boyfriends (good and bad), and having guy friends has taught me more about how guys think. Trust me when I say – if a guy wants to be with you – he will – no ifs, no buts – he will and he will make you know it and feel it.
I asked my guy friends to list the top 10 confessions about relationships and break ups from the thing us girls hate… ‘the guy code’. Sadly, it took them about half a second to think of loads. These however, are the chosen 10:
1. When a guy says there’s no spark or that he sees you as a friend… It either means you need to work on your bedroom skills or he isn’t attracted to you. (Both bad).
2. When a guy says he’s not ready to commit… He’s either waiting for the next best thing or you’re not the only girl he’s seeing. (Both bad).
3. If a guy doesn’t get jealous at all… He either doesn’t care enough or he’s too busy looking for ‘fresh meat’.
4. If a guy is too jealous… He’s either insecure and will make your life a nightmare (run!) or he’s up to no good himself. (run!).
5. If a guy wants ‘space’… He’s either met someone else or he just doesn’t like you enough. (Again, both bad).
6. If a guy doesn’t introduce you to your family… He doesn’t see you as ‘marriage material’ and you’re just there until he meets ‘the one’.
7. If he says he doesn’t want to be with you now but ‘maybe’ in the future… Sorry sunshine – he doesn’t love you… And even if he does, it isn’t enough to be with you now. He wants to play the field first and if he can’t find anything better he will be back (run!).
8. If he doesn’t like you going out when he goes out – he’s up to no good and you’re interrupting his ‘pulling game’.
9. If he would rather spend time with his friends and chooses them over you constantly, you’re basically used for what guys can’t offer (sorry); he doesn’t like your company as much as he should.
10. If he’s not texting you back or answering your calls… He’s not too busy working or whatever other way you’ve tried to justify it… He does not want to talk to you.
I promised my friends I wouldn’t name them as it will (quote) “ruin their chances of pulling and ruin their street cred with the guys” but their brutal honesty is exactly what we need. I won’t thank them (for obvious reasons) but we must realise that the millions of rom coms we watch give us false hope that every single guy we like is eventually going to like us back and we will live happily ever after.
Unfortunately most guys are nothing like Prince Charming. That’s not to say you won’t find the man of your dreams who will love you like you’ve only dreamt about, I’m just saying not everyone you love is actually ‘Mr right’. If a guy breaks up with you without you doing any wrong… He isn’t worth the heartbreak. He doesn’t deserve the time or tears… move on and you’ll be so much happier as soon as you realise that you were actually in love with the idea of him, not him or how he made you feel.
I’m the first to admit that I’m in love with the idea of being in love… Most of my grieving over guys lasts about a week… Then I realise that the guy that works in the gym is a looker… and then the blummin cycle starts again!!
I may sound like a man-hater but I’m not. I just know how they can sometimes make you feel! One thing my heartbreak over the years has taught me, is once you respect yourself and know your worth – guys will too.
Believe in Love but also believe there are losers out there too.
If a guy wants to be with you… Trust me… He will.