It wasn’t so many years ago that marriage was the number one ambition for all women and the main thing to aim for in their lives. Whilst plenty of women still dream of becoming a Mrs, it isn’t something every Woman wants any more. 2014 figures from the ONS found that over a third of people over 16 were not married and had never been married and this number continues to increase.
So why is getting married so important anyway? Plenty of women are perfectly happy single or in a committed relationship without a ring on their finger and a legal agreement. Here are some top reasons why you shouldn’t feel like you HAVE to get married:
Even women who are totally against marriage sometimes feel the pull when they see all their friends doing it and when it’s what their family expect. All that matters when it comes to something as massive as marriage is what you want. The pressure of ‘doing the right thing’ results in so many people throwing themselves into marriages they don’t want and then it’s only a few years before divorce is on the cards. The number of people getting married each year is falling as there is less pressure to ‘do the right thing’ and people feel more free to make their own decisions.
If your career means more to you than getting hitched then don’t do it, wait until the time is right or if it’s just not for you, cross it off the bucket list. More and more couples are not getting married because of their careers and women are out-ranking their male partners in terms of career success and earnings in many households too. We’re not living in the 1950s and there is no need to get married for financial reasons. Women can hold their own in the jobs market and are showing what they’re made of in all industries, who needs a man to pay their way?
We’re way past the time where people should be worried about getting married before having kids. It just isn’t an issue any more and anyone who thinks it is has got their priorities in the wrong order. It’s great if you want to get married before starting a family but there is no societal pressure like there once was. If you love the guy and want his babies and he’s feeling the same way, then go ahead and do it, you don’t need a signed marriage certificate to give you permission.
Gone are the days when you need to be in a relationship to have kids. More and more Women are choosing to be single mothers later in life and adopt or have children via a surrogate or sperm donor. This option is becoming particularly popular with successful Women over 40 who have spent their 20’s and 30’s either career focused or unable to find the right guy. Some however choose this option purely because they feel confident being a single mother without needing a man.
Oscar winning actress Sandra Bullock (seen above) decided to adopt her first child, Louis, in 2010 from the Louisiana foster care system. In 2015 she went on to adopt 3 year old Laila from the same center, after her Son Louis expressed his eagerness for wanting a sibling. Sandra adopted both children whilst single but is now in a new relationship with Bryan Randall.
Settling down today can be pricey. Whether it’s buying a house, paying for a wedding or planning for the costs of children, it’s harder now than ever to get on your feet as a couple. This is another reason why more and more people are opting to leave the wedding until later on in their relationship or in many cases, not have one at all.
There’s also the financials to consider when it comes to the risk of divorce. If you happen to be the successful one in the relationship, or the one earning more, getting divorced can really mess things up for you and you’ll find yourself paying for legal fees and potentially losing half (if not more) of everything you worked for. (Prenuptial agreements are not legally binding in the UK) Being in a committed relationship without marriage means that you can remain independent and in control of your hard earned cash.
It’s a Better Deal for Men Anyway
Marriage is often described as the key to a healthy life but research has found this is only the case if you’re a man! A medical study has found that the health benefits for women of getting married are practically zero whereas the guys get a really good deal. On the flip side, people who get married on average live longer than single people. This is due to spending many happy years of companionship with someone, especially when you’re old.
If you want to get married and you’ve always dreamed of your special day, then go for it, but if it’s not for you then own the fact. There is no need to be guilt-tripped or pushed into something you don’t want and plenty of people live happily without even considering marriage. Just do what feels right for you and your boo and be happy.
Just make sure you still get a diamond of some sort.