Everyone has got at least one friend who is best pals with their ex. Not only is it really annoying but you have to admit you’re probably a bit jealous too. Whether you and your exes have always broken up in a big fight or things have tailed off quietly, it is quite normal to miss their company and attention, even if it’s just as friends.
Other people seem to manage to be friends with their exes but how do they manage it? Celebs like Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Lopez are openly super friendly with their exes and follow a method of conscious uncoupling. Is it possible to be friend with an ex and not feel like a complete psycho? Yes, for some people, no for others, it depends on the situation and how you’re feeling about the guy and the breakup.
YES, you can be Friends with Your Ex, IF:
1. The sex is just too good
Plenty of couples split up but can’t live without the amazing sex the relationship gave them. Hooking up every now and then does not mean you have to be emotionally involved and there’s nothing wrong with keeping it no-strings.
2. You feel like his sister
This can be a bit weird but if there was like no sex at all in your relationship or you simply felt like housemates then why shouldn’t a relationship like that continue if you want it to? If you’re not sexually attracted to the guy but enjoy his company, there’s no harm in gaining a new mate. It’s got to be both ways though, don’t torture the guy.
3. No Sexual Tension
Long term relationships where you’re just not feeling it and sex feels more like a chore than a pleasure are packed with awkward sexual tension. Kill the relationship and the tension is gone and you may even be able to get back onto a good friends’ level with the guy.
4. Too Many Mutuals
If you both have a common friend group and spend a lot of time in mutual company, then it’s going to be more awkward if you choose not to be friends. It’s best off staying friends if you can on this basis, just keep him at as much of a distance if you can if you really don’t want to be close. There’s no sense in missing out in time with your friends because of an ex.
NO, you can’t be Friends with Your Ex, IF:
1. On and Off
If you’re trying to make a clean break but this is a guy you’ve always had an on-off thing with, he’s probably not a good idea to keep around. He may seem like a good friend but if you’re always ending up back in bed with him when you want to start fresh, cut off all ties. Confused feelings are no good for anyone.
2. Crazy in Love
If you’re crazy about a guy it’s a really shit decision to try and make him your mate. At the back of your mind you’ll be dreaming of him getting back together with you and it’ll be pretty painful when he knocks you back. If your ex has made it clear they don’t want to date again then don’t push it, even if you think he’s ‘the one’.
3. Jealous Bitch
If you know you’ll cause a scene if you see your ex with another girl, then you probably shouldn’t keep him around. Going all psycho crazy on a new girlfriend or simply someone he’s flirting with is never a good look and if it hurts to see him with other women, you’re not ready to be involved with him, even on a friends’ basis.
Some people can’t stand the sight of their ex and some people simply can’t get over them. Whichever one you are, make sure you look out for number one and don’t get caught up in the drama by re-living the heartbreak over and over again. Yes you may have loved them once, but an ex is an ex for a reason.