Sometimes it’s hard not to get jealous if your bff gets all the best guys. She can’t keep them all to herself though and if she breaks up with a guy who is literally the man of your dreams what’s to stop you having a shot? Dating your best mate’s ex can be tricky but if you think he’s worth it then sometimes it’s possible to make it work. Remember your mate has feelings however much you’re lusting after this guy and keep these dos and don’ts in mind if you just can’t say no to the guy.
DON’T Be Bitchy
You will probably find that both your mate and the new man have plenty to say about each other but that’s not what you’re there for. Listening to them bitch about each other isn’t a good start to your new relationship so tune it out, ignore it or just tell them to stop. Bitching, belittling or even just complaining about either of them to the other won’t end well and it may seem like you’re taking sides, which means you’re bound to lose at least one of them.
DON’T Be Paranoid
It can be tempting to never mention your mate’s name in front of your new man or vice-versa but that’s going to be difficult and make you look seriously weird pretty quickly. There’s no need to protect anyone, if your mate wasn’t OK about you seeing the guy then she would have said so, so give up the paranoia!
DON’T Make Comparisons
Comparing your relationship to their relationship or yourself to her isn’t going to make you more attractive. It sounds pretty desperate if you start asking him if he thinks your prettier/sexier/better in bed than his ex and it’s ever worse when she’s meant to be your best mate. Comparing yourself to anyone always makes you feel a little crappy and what will you do if he says no? He might think she is cuter but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be with you.
DO Leave Their Relationship Alone
Trying to find out all the dirty secrets of their relationship will go down really badly, whether you’re talking to your mate or your new boyfriend. You might want to know exactly what went wrong, what he liked best in bed or anything else but it’s really not OK to be asking these things. Get to know him on your own terms, not those that led to their relationship breaking up.
DON’T exclude them
Your mate and her ex may not want to go to the same parties together but it’s not your decision to make. Always offer because assuming she doesn’t want to come may make her feel frozen out and distanced from you. Both your friend and your new man can make their own decisions whether they’re happy to be around each other and you just need to be respectful of their choices.
DO Understand That Some Ex-BFs are a No-Go
There are some men in your best friend’s life that you just have to leave, however much you may be into them. We’re talking her first love, the man she wanted to marry and anyone who has treated her badly. You may not mind getting involved with a cheater or a bit of a bad boy but if he’s hurt your friend, you shouldn’t even be thinking about it.
Sometimes it’s hard to say no to a guy if you think he’s something special but you have to consider everyone involved, if you want to keep your mates.