As Gwyneth Paltrow claims she adores her ex-husband, is conscious uncoupling really a good thing or just something to keep your ex in the picture?
They’ve been pretty open regarding their marriage break-up and after discussing their plans to remain best of friends after their separation, Gwyneth Paltrow has now spoken out about how much she adores her ex-husband, Coldplay frontman Chris martin.
During a talk for Cannes Lions on Wednesday, the Oscar-winning actress spoke honestly about her strong relationship with ex Chris, with HardTalk’s Stephen Sakur.
“My children know that we’re in a loving family” she said. “And I adore their father even though we’re not in a romantic relationship.”
Gwyneth also opened up about the sacrifices they both had to make as a couple in order to protect their children, Apple, 12 and Moses, 10.
She continued: “I’m very proud of us for the way that – as anyone who has been divorced knows – we have had to put aside an awful lot to stay a family for the sake of the children. Sometimes it’s quite tough on a personal level.”
Gwyneth and Chris filled for divorce in April 2015. The situation was said to have been so amicable that they decided the settlement details between them before either party filled any legal documents. In the months following, both Gwyneth and Chris have been very supportive of each other whether the children are present or not.
They say divorce is one of the worst things you can go through in life, so is conscious un-coupling the solution?
Lets break it down…
If there’s kids involved, conscious uncoupling can be much harder, even though the children are the most obvious reason to remain friends.
If the relationship between you and your ex isn’t as friendly as Gwyneth and Chris’ then surely this can have a detrimental effect on the children? They can feel awkward and anxious every time mum and dad are together, because deep down they know you hate each other and are just trying to fake a smile whenever you’re all together. In this case, surely the children would prefer their parents to remain separate and continue with their lives apart and be happy?
If the relationship is genuinely good between you and your ex and you can actually stand the site of him, then this could be great for the children. Children feel safe and secure knowing they have a strong family unit and remaining united as parents even though you’re apart can only benefit the children and teach them respect and compassion growing up.
But what about the adults?
Obviously this depends on the reasons for which you’ve separated in the first place but lets just take a broad view of it.
If you or your ex has cheated, there’s likely to be a lot of anger and animosity there. One of you has been seriously hurt and is probably still not over it. Seeing that person on a regular basis and being nice to them, for the sake of the kids, can be hard and mentally draining. This is not good for you and your wellbeing.
If you broke up because of reasons that were out of your control, or if you still love them, then conscious uncoupling can be even harder as whenever you all play happy families, it’s a constant reminder of what used to be, and of what you’ve lost.
Both scenarios can prevent you from getting closure from the situation and moving on happily with your life.
And then it gets even more complicated when one of you meets someone else. What happens then? Do you all just play happy families and become a ‘blended family’? If you’re the jealous type or still besotted with them, this won’t work and will only make matter worse and cause more drama for the kids.
Every relationship is different and what works for one may not work for another. If you can master the conscious uncoupling for the sake of the kids, great! But if you can’t, don’t beat yourself up – you’re only human.
Could you remain friends with your ex? Do you believe in conscious un-coupling?
Let us know below…