You might feel like the only girl in the world who isn’t enjoying sex with her man, but trust me, you’re not. There are girls out there faking it their whole lives which is pretty sad. If you’re with the right man and you’re doing the right things, you should be able to achieve an orgasm and get more from your sex life.
Research from the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women only orgasm 62.9% of the time with a regular partner whereas men get the pleasure a lot more often – hardly seems fair does it? Whether you struggle to come or have never made it there, it’s not JUST you.
Here are some of the main reasons why women miss out on amazing sex…
Fast Forward Foreplay
Some men want to get to the main event and seem to think foreplay is just a bit of fun, wrong! For us girls it’s the foreplay which ensures we’re primed to come… and come hard. 20 minutes or more of foreplay can ensure your body is more than ready for full stimulation and just begging to be penetrated.
Too Many Moves
If your man likes to show off his moves and has you performing gymnastics all over the bed, it’s understandable your body isn’t exactly screaming with pleasure. Erotic acrobatics is great but testing out too many moves in one go will make it harder to orgasm. Your body needs rhythm and needs to build to a climax, not be moved from side to side every 5 minutes.
You’re Always Drunk
Alcohol has different effects on sex for different people. For some people, it can heighten the enjoyment , but for others it can totally ruin it. It can either make you the wild, daring Pornstar your man loves or it can make you completely useless laying on your back comatosed. Only you know how sex feels with or without alcohol so you’ll have to decide which way works best for you. You really don’t want to become someone who can only have sex after a whole bottle of wine and have no recollection the following day though.
Not In The Zone
How many times have you tuned out during sex? If you’re not into it then you’re not going to get what you want from it! It’s so easy to think of everything from whether your thighs are looking good from your last leg day to wondering if you’ve put a white wash on. This isn’t going to get you what you want. Focus on your body and his body, live the moment and the climax will come.
If you’ve had a bad experience in the past, then it’s pretty obvious why you’re just not feeling it now. Whether it was something as painful as sexual assault/ rape or something less traumatic but super embarrassing , it can be enough to put you of sex for a long time. But don’t be disheartened, with the right person at the right time, you can feel amazing and get that va-va-voom back.
He’s The Wrong Guy
Women are emotional creatures. Whilst we may like the thought of having casual sex with someone we don’t know or whilst we may love our partner for many reasons but still struggle in bed, the truth of the matter is that Women need to have an emotional connection to have great sex. Make sure you pick someone who is more than just eye candy.
If you’ve been together for a long time, chances are you’ve got bored of the same old routine moves and pillow talk. Try spicing things up by being spontaneous and surprising your man with some new things. Try dressing up and incorporating some toys as well as trying out new moves. You’ll soon feel the spice return into your relationship and feel like a goddess again.
Checkout these Queenic faves to really get things going…